Monday, 25 August 2014

Moument hill recount

Today with Mrs Nicola she took our class up to monument hill we had to do a recount of the view
I remember when Mrs Nicola took us up monument hill.The view was awesome there. There  were tall hill’s,  And the cars looked liked dancing sheep,  The grass was as green as a green leaf. The houses were so beautiful and huge,  Trees looked like waving hands, And   bushes looked like native animals surrounding the sheep and all of us had huge happy grins. As we write the  birds sang to us in a beautiful voice tweet tweet tweet.The  fences were old and broken. We had to go back to school before brain break. Before we left we sung toro mai in a wonderful voice.

2 comments:

  1. I loved your gem about the trees with waving hands. If you wanted to turn it into a metaphor you could say.....The waving hands of the trees........(and continue this sentence). It is very important to correct your full stops and capital letters in your work so your reader can understand you. Try this for next time.

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  2. I put capital letters and full stops in now

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